Push
by BunniesOfDoom
Summary: It's not just anxiety bothering Yuri as the morning of the Free Skate dawns. Sickfic.


Written for a prompt on my sneezehq tumblr. Set during the Free Skate of the Grand Prix Final. Content warning for vomit. Enjoy!

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Setting the new record in the short program feels like a dream come true to Yuri. He doesn't really let his nerves get to him in the days leading up to the free skate, too busy riding on the high of his win. As the competition comes closer, though, Yuri's anxiety trickles back in. He's finally feeling the pressure-to win, to show that his short program wasn't a fluke, to represent Russia.

Yuri had planned to spend the day before the competition practicing until he can barely stand, to ensure that his routine was perfect and so that he'd be able to sleep the night before. Lilia and Yakov veto this idea, not wanting him to over exert himself, so instead Yuri does a light practice and spends the rest of the day nervously pacing the length of his hotel room. The other skaters are all still practicing-like he should be-plus Yuri isn't sure that going sightseeing in this state is such a good idea.

After forcing himself to eat a little dinner, Yuri decides to go to bed early, to ensure that he's well rested for tomorrow. His plan doesn't work out, however, as he spends the night tossing and turning in bed, occasionally drifting off into brief snatches of sleep, only to wake up gasping and panting from gut-wrenching nightmares about losing.

By the time morning rolls around, Yuri is an exhausted, frazzled mess. His head is throbbing and it feels like his eyes are being stabbed with hundreds of tiny needles. When he turns on the light in the bathroom, it turns out to be too much for his aching head, and he barely has any warning before a rush of vomit forces it's way up his throat and into the sink.

Continuing to gag, Yuri manages to bring up the little bit of food he ate last night, but his stomach still isn't satisfied and he's left dry heaving for another ten minutes before he regains control. The retching has amplified the pain in his skull, but Yuri squares his shoulders and wipes his face with a washcloth. He's got his free skate program to do, and he's not about to be stopped by a little headache.

That's much easier said than done, though. Yuri easily manages to avoid eating breakfast, waving his coaches off and insisting that he ate a protein bar. They're used to his lack of appetite before a competition, so they don't question it.

Warmups, on the other hand, are pure torture. Each jump feels like a knife being stabbed through his head, and each spin makes his stomach lurch sickeningly. Somehow he manages to make it through without falling over-in fact, Yakov and Lilia say that his form is better than ever-but as soon as he's done he immediately scrambles to the locker room to empty his already painfully deserted stomach. The harsh heaves make the intense throbbing behind his eyes way worse, but at least his stomach seems to settle a little.

He vaguely watches the other skaters (his eyes are closed more often than not in an effort to block out the bright stadium lights), but forces himself to pay attention to Yuuri's performance; he can't believe that this is the same skater that was crying in the bathroom after the last Grand Prix. Yuuri's world-record breaking performance only fuels Yuri's determination to win today; he's going to give this free skate everything he has.

His conversation with Victor about the Katsudon's future is a welcome distraction from his pounding headache, not to mention the fact that it gives him an extra shot of rage to energize himself. How dare Yuuri just quit after that! He takes a deep breath to focus and steel himself before stepping out onto the ice, gracefully returning Otabek's cry of "Davai!" with a thumbs up. It's his turn to shine. He's going to push himself through the pain and win this.

Yuri is gasping in pain by the time he finishes his routine. Between the exertion and all the jumps and spins, the throbbing in his head has worsened to an almost unbearable level. He lets out a cry of mixed relief and agony, before collapsing to his knees, tears streaming down his face. The pain is overwhelming and excruciating and he continues to sob in the middle of the rink, lacking the energy to even consider getting up. Even the thought of trying makes him feel exhausted.

He doesn't hear the person that comes onto the ice to help him over his own crying, and jumps when he feels someone gently touch his arm. Looking up through blurry eyes, he recognizes Otabek. Silently, without a word, Otabek slips an arm around Yuri's shoulders and helps him off the ice. Yuri doesn't fight it, just presses his face into Otabek's shoulder to block out the light. They've just stepped off the rink when Yuri's stomach jumps into his throat; there's no warning, so he ends up spewing all over Otabek. "So-sorry," he manages to croak out between gasps.

"It's alright, Yuri," Otabek says, steering him to the nearest trash can. Yuri retches fruitlessly over it for a couple minutes before falling back against Otabek in exhaustion. His head is spinning and throbbing in equal measures, and his stomach feels like it's on fire. "You did well today, soldier," Otabek tells him. His deep voice is soothing and reassuring. "Let's get you cleaned up before the awards ceremony."

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